I think i sorta joined a cult last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
