at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
