My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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