**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
