yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
