I'm going to jail i love you
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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