Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
