Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
