Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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