pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
