So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
