Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
