I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
