I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
