Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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