At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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