I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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