Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
