I'm eating all of the evidence.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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