Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
