shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
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