i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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