spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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