it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
