I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I am one with the molecules
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
