i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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