I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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