3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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