I'm going to jail i love you
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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