my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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