they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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