I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
