Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
