we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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