I'm really into asian looking animals
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
