There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Is it penis luge time yet?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
