Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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