my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
