I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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