It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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