i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
