Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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