that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
