Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
