Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
