She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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