she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
