this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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