I'm eating all of the evidence.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
