Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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